251+ Roasts To Roast Your Big Brother (Sibling Relationship)

Growing up with a big brother means dealing with endless pranks, constant teasing, and an ongoing battle for dominance. If your older sibling thinks he’s always one step ahead, it’s time to put him in his place with some epic roasts! Whether you want to playfully roast him in person, over text, or in a group setting, this guide has everything you need.

From witty comebacks to fearless one-liners, you’ll find the best sibling roasts here. These burns are funny, sarcastic, and relatable, making them perfect for lighthearted sibling banter. But don’t worry—we’re keeping things playful, not mean! Whether you’re looking for a quick clapback or a longer roast, we’ve got 251+ hilarious burns to keep your big brother in check.

Get ready to win every sibling argument with style, and don’t forget: the best revenge is a great roast!

1. Classic Big Brother Roasts

“Mom and Dad brought you home first so they could practice before having a better version—me.”
“You’re like a cloud… whenever you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
“You were the test subject; I’m the final product.”
“If being annoying was an Olympic sport, you’d have more gold medals than Michael Phelps.”
“I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
“I love how you pretend to be the responsible one, yet I still have to fix your mistakes.”
“You have something on your chin… no, the third one.”
“You were my parents’ first child; they got it right with the second one.”
“Your jokes are like dad’s… except worse.”
“You’re the reason I know how to argue like a pro.”

2. Fearless Comebacks for Big Brothers

“You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.”
“You have something on your face—oh wait, never mind, that’s just your personality.”
“I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.”
“You’re proof that first drafts are never perfect.”
“If I had a dollar for every time you said something foolish, I’d be richer than Elon Musk.”
“I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
“You bring the family together… just so we can all roast you.”
“You remind me of a penny—two-faced and not worth much.”
“I’d argue with you, but I don’t argue with people below my IQ level.”
“Your confidence is impressive for someone who’s wrong 90% of the time.”

3. Funny Text Roasts for Your Brother

“You type like someone who just discovered the internet yesterday.”
“Are you autocorrect? Because you keep making mistakes.”
“Your texts are like your jokes—no one understands them.”
“If texting were an art, you’d be finger-painting.”
“Why do you text me? We both know I’ll ignore it.”
“Your texts have the same energy as a dad joke—awkward and forced.”
“I’d reply faster, but I have better things to do—like watching paint dry.”
“Your messages are proof that some thoughts should stay in your head.”
“I’d text back, but I don’t feel like dealing with your nonsense right now.”
“Reading your texts is like solving a mystery—except I don’t care about the ending.”

4. Roasting Your Brother’s Intelligence

“You bring balance to the world—one genius, one idiot. Guess which one you are?”
“You have something on your face… oh, wait, that’s just your IQ showing.”
“I’d explain it to you, but even Google can’t fix your lack of understanding.”
“Your brain is like WiFi… always searching, but never connecting.”
“I’d call you smart, but I don’t want to lie.”
“If thinking were a sport, you’d be sitting on the bench.”
“You have something special… it’s called ‘not being smart.’”
“You’re like a screen with low brightness—dim.”
“Your logic makes my brain hurt.”
“I’m pretty sure a potato has a higher IQ than you.”

5. Roasting Your Brother’s Looks

“You look like the ‘before’ picture in every makeover ad.”
“Your face should come with a warning sign.”
“Your mirror called—it wants an apology.”
“Even Snapchat filters can’t fix that.”
“You have the perfect face… for radio.”
“If ugly was a superpower, you’d be in the Avengers.”
“You bring a whole new meaning to ‘rough around the edges.’”
“Your barber must be a stand-up comedian.”
“Even your shadow is trying to escape.”
“Mom still wonders if she brought home the wrong baby.”

6. Roasting Your Brother’s Style

“Did you lose a bet, or do you always dress like this?”
“Your fashion sense is a crime against humanity.”
“Your wardrobe looks like a lost-and-found bin.”
“Even mannequins dress better than you.”
“You have the style of a dad at a barbecue.”
“Your outfit screams ‘I got dressed in the dark.’”
“Fashion police? More like fashion emergency services.”
“Your shoes have seen better days… like 10 years ago.”
“Did you use a time machine? Because your clothes are from 2005.”
“Your sense of style is as lost as your common sense.”

7. Roasting Your Brother’s Height

“I’d look down on you, but I don’t want to strain my neck.”
“Do you need a ladder to reach the top shelf?”
“You must love concerts—because everyone’s always blocking your view.”
“You should legally be classified as ‘fun-sized.’”
“Are you sure you’re not standing in a hole?”
“When you were born, they must’ve forgotten to stretch you out.”
“At least your problems are never over your head.”
“You make hobbits look tall.”
“Even your shadow is taller than you.”
“It must be nice living life in child mode.”

8. Roasting Your Brother’s Clumsiness

“I should start a betting pool for how many times you’ll trip today.”
“Are you training for a falling competition?”
“Gracefulness must have skipped a generation.”
“Your coordination is an inspiration… to nobody.”
“You walk like a giraffe on roller skates.”
“Did gravity personally offend you or what?”
“You should come with a ‘fragile’ sticker.”
“If clumsiness was an Olympic sport, you’d take gold.”
“You have two left feet… and neither one works properly.”
“Even newborn deer are more coordinated than you.”

9. Roasting Your Brother’s Gaming Skills

“You play like the tutorial never ended.”
“Your K/D ratio is an embarrassment to humanity.”
“Even NPCs have better skills than you.”
“You make losing look like an art form.”
“The controller is not the problem—it’s you.”
“Even grandma could beat you at this game.”
“If gaming was a job, you’d be permanently unemployed.”
“Your best move is the ‘rage quit.’”
“The game should give you a pity win at this point.”
“You’d have better luck playing with your eyes closed.”

10. Roasting Your Brother’s Singing Skills

“Did you just summon a demon, or is that your voice?”
“Your singing makes dogs cry.”
“Are you auditioning for ‘Worst Singer Alive’?”
“If I had a dollar for every bad note, I’d be a millionaire.”
“You sound like a car alarm with a sore throat.”
“Even autotune gave up on you.”
“Your voice is proof that not everyone should sing.”
“Do you practice that awful sound, or does it come naturally?”
“You hit every note… except the right ones.”
“If showerheads could talk, yours would beg you to stop singing.”

11. Roasting Your Brother’s Cooking Skills

“Your food should come with a ‘consume at your own risk’ warning.”
“Your cooking could be used as a weapon.”
“Is this food, or an experiment gone wrong?”
“Even instant noodles would turn out bad in your hands.”
“Your cooking has sent more people running than a fire alarm.”
“Gordon Ramsay would cry if he saw this.”
“Your food is proof that seasoning is a myth to you.”
“I’d rather eat cardboard than what you made.”
“Your cooking has a new flavor: ‘disappointment.’”
“Are you trying to poison me, or is this just your regular cooking?”

12. Roasting Your Brother in Public

“I only claim him as my brother when he does something right—so, never.”
“Don’t mind him—he was dropped as a baby… several times.”
“If embarrassment had a face, it would be his.”
“He’s not usually this clueless… just kidding, he is.”
“If ‘awkward’ was a person, it would be my brother.”
“Even GPS couldn’t help him find common sense.”
“He’s proof that siblings are born, not chosen.”
“I have to live with this guy—pray for me.”
“Mom says we’re related, but I have my doubts.”
“He’s the best brother ever—because he’s my only option.”

13. Roasting Your Brother’s Laziness

“You have two speeds: slow and stop.”
“You put the ‘pro’ in ‘procrastinate.’”
“Your bed has seen you more than the outside world has.”
“If laziness was a career, you’d be the CEO.”
“The only thing you ever finish is a meal.”
“You move so little, I thought you were a statue.”
“Even your shadow works harder than you.”
“You make sloths look like marathon runners.”
“Your hero animal is a couch potato.”
“Your idea of exercise is reaching for the TV remote.”

14. Roasting Your Brother’s Eating Habits

“You eat like food is going out of style.”
“The fridge is afraid every time you walk by.”
“Your plate looks like a buffet exploded on it.”
“You chew louder than my alarm clock.”
“If food were a competition, you’d be the world champion.”
“You could win an Olympic gold in snacking.”
“Do you ever actually taste your food, or just inhale it?”
“You eat faster than WiFi loads a video.”
“I don’t need to do the dishes—your plate is always clean.”
“Your stomach must be a black hole.”

15. Roasting Your Brother’s Sleep Schedule

“You sleep so much, I’m starting to question if you’re in hibernation.”
“Your alarm clock must feel useless.”
“Are you a vampire? Because I only see you awake at night.”
“You sleep more than a cat, and that’s saying something.”
“You’ve turned sleeping into a full-time job.”
“You wake up so late, you’re practically in a different time zone.”
“I don’t need to set an alarm—I just wait for you to wake up in the afternoon.”
“If oversleeping were an Olympic event, you’d have multiple gold medals.”
“Even Sleeping Beauty woke up faster than you.”
“You snore loud enough to scare the neighbors.”

16. Roasting Your Brother’s Social Skills

“Your social skills are as smooth as a brick wall.”
“Even my phone has better communication skills than you.”
“Your idea of small talk is just nodding and hoping for the best.”
“You’re as socially active as a hermit crab.”
“You talk to your gaming console more than actual people.”
“I’ve seen houseplants hold better conversations.”
“If awkwardness was a language, you’d be fluent.”
“You react to social situations like a deer in headlights.”
“You make introverts look like party animals.”
“Your best friend is probably an AI chatbot.”

17. Roasting Your Brother’s Love Life

“Your love life is as real as unicorns.”
“Even WiFi signals have better connections than you.”
“Are you in a relationship with your phone? Because that’s the only thing you talk to.”
“Your flirting skills need a software update.”
“Your love life is like a desert—dry and lifeless.”
“Even imaginary girlfriends dumped you.”
“Your love life is so slow, even snails are moving faster.”
“Your relationship status should be ‘permanently single.’”
“Cupid must have lost your address.”
“At this rate, Mom might have to arrange your marriage.”

18. Roasting Your Brother’s Music Taste

“Your playlist is a crime against humanity.”
“Your music taste is as outdated as flip phones.”
“Do your headphones scream every time you press play?”
“Even elevator music has more personality than your playlist.”
“Your music choices make me question our shared DNA.”
“Your playlist is proof that not all sounds should be heard.”
“I’d rather listen to static than your favorite song.”
“Your music taste makes me wish for earplugs.”
“Even toddlers have better taste in music.”
“Your playlist is a one-way ticket to a headache.”

19. Roasting Your Brother’s Sense of Humor

“Your jokes are so bad, even dad jokes sound funny in comparison.”
“Your sense of humor is like a desert—dry and empty.”
“If cringe was a language, you’d be fluent.”
“Even crickets refuse to laugh at your jokes.”
“Your humor is so outdated, even dinosaurs would roll their eyes.”
“Your joke delivery is slower than dial-up internet.”
“You have the comedic timing of a broken clock.”
“Even my teacher’s lectures are funnier than you.”
“Your jokes make fortune cookies sound exciting.”
“You should charge people for making them suffer through your humor.”

20. Roasting Your Brother’s Driving Skills

“Your driving makes me believe in public transportation.”
“You take ‘pedal to the metal’ way too seriously.”
“Your car must cry every time you get behind the wheel.”
“You drive like you’re in a video game—except with no extra lives.”
“Your parallel parking skills are a national disaster.”
“Your driving instructor must have nightmares about you.”
“You drive like a GPS malfunctioning in real time.”
“Even Google Maps can’t save your terrible navigation skills.”
“Your road rage could fuel a power plant.”
“Your car insurance rate must be through the roof.”

21. Roasting Your Brother’s Athletic Skills

“You run like you’re carrying invisible weights.”
“Your hand-eye coordination is a myth.”
“You have the endurance of a goldfish.”
“You play sports like a penguin on ice.”
“If there was a sport for tripping, you’d be the MVP.”
“Even Grandma can outrun you.”
“You should train for a sport… any sport.”
“Your fitness level is as low as your motivation.”
“Your idea of cardio is walking to the fridge.”
“You turn every game into an unintentional comedy show.”

22. Roasting Your Brother’s Handwriting

“Your handwriting looks like a secret code nobody can crack.”
“Are you writing or drawing abstract art?”
“Even doctors have better handwriting than you.”
“Your notes look like an ancient script yet to be deciphered.”
“I need a Rosetta Stone just to read this.”
“Your handwriting could be a new escape room challenge.”
“Even my scribbles as a toddler were clearer.”
“Your writing style is modern hieroglyphics.”
“Does your pen have a grudge against paper?”
“I’d rather read a textbook than your notes.”

23. Roasting Your Brother’s Decision-Making Skills

“Your choices make me question if we share the same DNA.”
“You have the decision-making skills of a Magic 8-Ball.”
“Your life choices are proof that common sense isn’t common.”
“You make a wrong turn even with a GPS.”
“You make decisions like a squirrel crossing the road—hesitant and dangerous.”
“Your plans have more plot twists than a soap opera.”
“Flipping a coin would give you better results than thinking.”
“Your decision-making is as stable as a Jenga tower in an earthquake.”
“Even a blindfolded monkey picking random options would do better than you.”
“Your biggest talent? Turning simple choices into absolute disasters.”

24. Roasting Your Brother’s Texting Habits

“You reply so late, I thought you moved to another dimension.”
“Your texting speed is slower than dial-up internet.”
“If ignoring messages was a sport, you’d be the undefeated champion.”
“You text like a caveman discovering fire.”
“Your autocorrect deserves an apology for what you put it through.”
“Your last ‘seen’ status is older than my childhood memories.”
“Reading your texts is like solving a riddle with missing pieces.”
“Even a carrier pigeon would deliver messages faster than you.”
“Are you typing with your nose? Because that would explain a lot.”
“Your typing makes me appreciate voice notes… barely.”

25. Roasting Your Brother’s Memory

“Your memory is worse than a goldfish on a sugar crash.”
“You forget things faster than Google deletes search history.”
“Your brain must be on airplane mode permanently.”
“If your memory were a phone, it would always be out of storage.”
“Your ability to forget things is your only consistent skill.”
“You could forget your own name if we didn’t remind you.”
“Your memory works great—until you actually need it.”
“You forget things faster than Snapchat deletes messages.”
“If remembering was a job, you’d be unemployed.”
“Even a broken clock is right twice a day—what’s your excuse?”

1. Understanding the Context Behind “See You Soon”

Casual vs. Formal Usage
- “See you soon” is commonly used in both casual and professional settings. Understanding the tone and context helps determine the best response.
Different Cultural Meanings
- In some cultures, “see you soon” may imply an imminent meeting, while in others, it may simply be a friendly farewell with no set timeline.
When It’s Used Sincerely vs. Politely
- Sometimes, people say “see you soon” just to be polite, even if they don’t actually mean it. Learning to read the situation can help you respond appropriately.

2. Responding to “See You Soon” in Different Scenarios

Professional Setting
- In a work environment, a simple response like “Looking forward to it!” or “See you then!” keeps the exchange professional and polite.
Friends and Family
- With close ones, you can be more playful: “You bet!”, “Only if you’re buying coffee!”, or “Can’t wait!” adds warmth to the interaction.
When You Don’t Want to See Them Soon
- If you’re trying to be polite but don’t actually plan to meet soon, responses like “Maybe, life’s unpredictable!” or “We’ll see!” can keep things neutral.

3. Phrases to Use Instead of “See You Soon”

Formal Alternatives
- If you need something more professional, phrases like “Until next time”, “Take care”, or “Looking forward to our next meeting” work well.
Casual and Playful Options
- For a lighthearted vibe, you can say “Catch you later!”, “Smell ya later!”, or “Same time, same place?”
If You Want to Be More Specific
- If you already know when you’ll meet next, saying “See you on Friday!” or “Talk to you next week!” makes your response clearer.

4. Communication Matters: The Importance of Tone and Intent

Tone Shapes Interpretation
- A phrase like “See you soon” can sound warm or dismissive, depending on your tone and body language.
Text vs. Face-to-Face Communication
- In texts, emojis and punctuation can change the meaning—“See you soon 😊” feels warmer than “See you soon.”
Misunderstandings Can Happen
- If someone misinterprets your response, clarifying with humor or a follow-up message can help avoid confusion.

5. Mistakes to Avoid When Responding to “See You Soon”

Being Too Dismissive
- A response like “Yeah, whatever” can come off as rude, even if unintentional.
Overcomplicating the Response
- Sometimes, a simple “See you soon too!” is all that’s needed—overthinking can make it awkward.
Ignoring the Statement
- If someone says “See you soon” and you stay silent or change the subject, it might seem unfriendly. Always acknowledge their words.

6. Why It’s Important to Personalize Your Response

Stronger Relationships
- A thoughtful response like “See you soon! Can’t wait for our movie night!” makes the exchange more personal and meaningful.
Shows That You Care
- Taking an extra second to personalize your response makes the conversation more engaging and less robotic.
Makes Conversations More Memorable
- Unique responses like “Only if you bring snacks!” create fun moments that strengthen connections.

Conclusion

Having a big brother means dealing with endless teasing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fire back with some hilarious roasts! Whether you want to playfully clap back or destroy him with a one-liner, this list has all the ammo you need. Remember to keep it fun—after all, sibling rivalry is all about love (and a little bit of competition!).

So the next time your big brother tries to act superior, hit him with a roast so good, even mom will laugh!